Our little guy arrived on June 21 at 12:28am. He weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and is 19 ½ inches long. So this is Nathan’s birth story from my perspective. If Quinn has a minute at some point I’ll see if I can get him to write up the story from his perspective. If you don't find birth as amazing and fascinating as me you might find this kind of long and boring, so please feel free to skim, skip, or not read it at all! But I wanted to post this because I know at least a good handful of you will be interested in the small details. For my fellow hypnobirthers or other natural birthers, I just have to say I'm now a little sheepish that I was freaking out at the end instead of remaining calm and serene. Oh well.
I need to start by saying that with Caitlyn, I had a condition called cholestasis that can lead to stillbirth, so they always induce you early if you have cholestasis. Our awesome doctor, Dr. Holmes, knew I was hoping to have a natural, unmedicated birth with no interventions that weren’t necessary. So rather than giving me pitocin to induce labor, he broke my water at 37 ½ weeks and I immediately went into active labor. So I was at the hospital right from the beginning and didn’t experience the part where you labor at home and have to decide when you’re far enough advanced that they’ll admit you at the hospital. With Nathan’s pregnancy cholestasis never came up, so I was excited to have the whole experience and find out how this baby would decide to come on his own without being induced.
We moved to San Diego when I was 35 weeks pregnant, and I went to great lengths to get in with the UCSD Midwives even though they normally only accept transfer patients up to 34 weeks. They deliver in a Birth Center right in the UCSD hospital so you can give birth with midwives in a home-like atmosphere and yet have everything you need two floors down in Labor and Delivery in case of any complications, which Quinn especially liked.
I had been having gentle contractions for weeks, which was great. My parents came down on Friday the 17th and will be able to stay until July 2nd. So I was hoping Nathan would decide to arrive after they got here and could be right at our apartment with Caitlyn when I went to the hospital, but soon after they got here so I could actually have their help for a good two weeks after the baby came. Happily, on Saturday the contractions started to get more regular and feel stronger. But after going to bed and waking up Sunday morning they had died off. All day on Sunday and all through that night and the next morning the contractions were on and off – strong and regular for hours, and then would stall out.
I had an appointment with the midwife Monday morning and she said my cervix was already dilated to a 3 or 4 and 80% effaced. After my appointment the contractions resumed every 10 minutes. Now they were getting really strong and taking more focus to relax through. We went shopping at the Asian grocery store and had lunch, and I tried to chase Caitlyn around and be as active as possible to encourage labor to progress. When we got home I really needed a nap, having not slept a whole lot the night before. When I woke up the contractions had slowed down yet again. Darn. So my mom and dad and I took Caitlyn on a walk around our condo community and the contractions started to be 7 to 8 minutes apart. I just leaned on my dad’s shoulder to relax through each contraction.
By Monday evening the contractions were 5-6 minutes apart. Looking back, I think “Duh!! At this point you really should have called the midwife!” But the contractions had stalled out so many times that I kept thinking, “I better wait and make sure it’s for real. I’d hate to make Quinn drive me the half hour to the hospital only to be sent back home.” Even more significantly to me, my water hadn’t broken, and since that was the first thing to happen in labor with Caitlyn I kept thinking I needed to wait for that to happen before I knew for sure I was in true active labor. So instead of calling the midwife…I went on another walk with my mom at 8:30 while Quinn gave Caitlyn a bath. When we came back I laid down with Caitlyn for a while as I was putting her to bed. When I did, the contractions slowed down again to 7 to 12 minutes. Disappointed, I decided not to get my hopes up and just plan on not getting to see my baby for at least another day.
Now, I’ve been describing the contractions as “strong” and saying I just relaxed through them, so it sounds like no big deal. But actually it does take a lot of focus to stay relaxed so they’re not extremely painful. So after a whole day of employing my utmost mental and physical discipline to relax through continuous contractions, I was a little tired. And now, with the contractions having slowed down again, I was pretty discouraged to think that all that may not even have been true active labor. Sensing my discouragement, my blessed mother pulled out her peppermint foot massage stuff (inspired!) and tub of warm water, sat me down, and gave me a foot massage. Um, HEAVEN!!!
Now that I was just sitting in heaven and totally relaxing, I realized that the contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and that I could actually feel my cervix opening with the contractions, much like what I felt at the very end of labor with Caitlyn. “I think I better call the midwife!” I said as I got up and started to get dressed and get my carefully pre-packed hospital bag. When the midwife got on the phone I had a contraction and asked her to wait just a minute. We talked for a minute and she asked if my water had broken. I told her no, but that I really felt like I should come in. She said I should trust my instinct. Before we hung up I had another really strong contraction and I had to ask her to wait a minute again. When I hung up the phone, it said our conversation had lasted 4 and ½ minutes…and I had had two really strong contractions within that time! Now alarmed, I told Quinn we’d better go right now! It was now midnight.
I had to stop about every 30 seconds for contractions on the way out the door. In the parking lot on the way out to the car I had to kneel down on the pavement on my hands and knees for a contraction and was shocked to suddenly feel the urge to push! Quinn was still behind me coming with all the stuff and I yelled, “Quinn, PLEASE RUN!!!” We got in the car and I told him, “Ok, please go the speed limit because we do not have time to get pulled over, but please get us there as fast as you can!” As we drove I increasingly felt the urge to push. I told Quinn he better call the midwife and tell her to have someone waiting at the Emergency Entrance. I didn’t really know it at the time because my mind was on other things, but while he was on the phone with her we missed the exit for the freeway we needed to connect to. Oh. Dang. I was now sort of singing/groaning, trying to let the urge to push come up out of my mouth so I wouldn’t push. But if you’ve ever given birth without an epidural, and unless you’re one of the few who don’t feel a strong urge to push during birth, you know that you can’t not push when you have that Natural Expulsive Reflex (NER) as they call it. You cannot stop your body from pushing. I was doing my best not to push, so he was definitely descending more slowly than if I had been intentionally pushing, but I could feel him descending and I was starting to feel a growing sense of panic. What if he was born in the car??? I wouldn’t know what to do! What if we accidentally hurt him somehow in the process? With my next contraction my water broke…finally! So it turned out that was definitely not the best gauge for whether my body was in active labor. “My water just broke, just so you know.” I said to Quinn. He didn’t say much, but I heard the car rev as he pushed the pedal to the floor.
After what seemed like forever we finally got to the exit for the hospital. But in our state of panic, we turned on the wrong street and for about 30 seconds had no idea where we were. At this point, I felt Nathan’s head emerging. My panic increased and my singing/groaning turned into yelling/screaming—not out of pain, just sheer panic. Suddenly “It’s 1st Street, not 4th Street” flashed through my head, I yelled it to Quinn, and he sped to 1st Street and around the bend to the ER door. A man came walking toward us with a wheelchair, but I said (screamed) “His head is out! I can’t sit down in that!” He told Quinn to pull around to the ambulance entrance and I could see a team of people waiting at a door with a gurney. I was so afraid of hurting the baby that it took us a minute to get me out of the car, and it wasn’t until I felt a sudden flood of calm that I simply let go of both the men trying to help me out and propelled myself out of the car onto the gurney.
As they wheeled me in the door I shut my eyes tight so I could just focus on feeling my baby and what was happening with him. About 30 seconds after they’d got me into the emergency room I eased Nathan the rest of the way out and heard him start to cry. I can’t even describe the relief I felt to hear him cry. “Is he alright? Is he ok?” I asked, (or yelled, rather, because I was still kind of in a state of panic). I opened my eyes and was surprised to find about 12 people standing around me. A nurse later told me that it’s rare to get to see the birth of a baby in the ER, so when it happens just about everybody in the whole ER excitedly gathers in to see. And that nurse was right – as soon as Nathan emerged it was like a party! Everyone was congratulating and smiling, remarking on his size, asking if this was our first, etc. In addition to the ER people, an obstetrician and a pediatrician had been summoned. I was still sort of hyperventilating, but so happy to have my beautiful, warm little baby lying on my tummy.
What an adventure! Nothing like I had so carefully planned and prepared for -- a peaceful delivery in the Birth Center. But all's well that ends well, right? :)
I think he looks a bit like Quinn’s newborn pictures. Anyone else agree?
Quinn
Nathan (I know it's kind of hard to see, you can click on the pic to enlarge)
